


Through Time and Distance

by illuminousink



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23211076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illuminousink/pseuds/illuminousink
Summary: When love isn't enough to keep you together, it's still up to you whether you want to make it work or to waste the time you spent in love.In Luhan and Minseok's case, they chose to stay... but not the usual way.
Relationships: Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han
Kudos: 26





	1. The past, the present, and what lies ahead

**Author's Note:**

> A story inspired by Sam Smith's songs Too Good at Goodbye, Scars and Burning. 
> 
> While love can become the foundation of a relationship... choosing to continue and build it together is still what matters most.

Their fingers intertwined, hearts racing as their breaths fall into a melodic chorus.

_The pain was there._

_It was still there._

_The arguments. The words thrown around causing pain worse than getting hit by lightning. They said it will never hit the same place twice so it was more than enough. But the words they’ve spit felt like venom, slowly creeping into their system and killing them in the process._

_It would’ve been better had they been electrocuted by lighting; it would’ve been less painful._

_But instead, they heard words that tore them apart. Questioned their sanity, doubted their love and dug holes in their hearts._

_Luhan loves Minseok, it’s true. Even with the continuous bullshit that leaked through the older’s mouth, he still valued him. He treasured him. Minseok was someone who he kept inside his heart and he doesn’t want to let go. Not even with the venomous words, the constant fights, the painful doubt that’s been thrown at him. None of it could ever make him fall out of love. None of it could tear Minseok out of his heart._

“Babe… Please… Listen to me…” Luhan would often beg, eyes fully focused on the older who refuses with all his might to look at him.

“And then what? You’ll tell me another lie of how much you love me but… But the truth is you’re just as tired of everything as I am… You just want to leave.” Minseok sobbed into Luhan’s embrace. Though pained and full of anxious doubt, Minseok could never push Luhan – physically.

“Babe… you gotta listen to me… I’m not leaving because I want to… But because I need to… If I don’t leave now, we’re… we’re bound to hurt each other more than what’s happening now.” Luhan whispered, though his embrace tightened.

_Luhan had always hated physical contact. He didn’t feel comfortable enough to hold someone’s hand or even pull them into his arms for a hug. He hated the feeling of someone else standing close to him, as if his personal space was always compromised. He hated people initiating body contact with him._

_Yet Minseok was never in that same category as the others. He was the only one that Luhan would hug, would kiss, would hold. He was special… because Luhan fell in love with him._

_Minseok loves Luhan, unquestionable. Even if the fights were ruthless, the questions triggering, and the doubts painful… he held him dear and close to his heart. Luhan was the only one Minseok opened his heart to. The only one who he offered his everything to. The only man who had broken his walls yet was also the only man that managed to hurt him this way._

“I… I don’t think...” Minseok stuttered, the words were stuck in his lips. No matter how much he wanted to utter them, he couldn’t. The mere acceptance of losing Luhan was already painful enough but to speak of it… it lets the world know of its existence.

Luhan held Minseok’s nape, pulling him closer and removing any gap they had despite having none. The tears felt hot against his chest as his lover’s hand pulled him into a tight embrace. “Minseokie… We can do this...”

“I’m… I...” Minseok hiccupped against the younger’s chest.

Luhan couldn’t help but feel his own tears threatening to fall while listening to his lover’s painful cries. His heart raced inside his chest as he listened, it was nothing but daggers stabbing his heart with every sniffle and tear that comes from Minseok.

“I love you babe… I do… I just need you to believe in it. I need you to believe in me.” Luhan whispered; his voice filled with conviction as he tightened his hug. “I love you… I love you so much... I really do…”

“And I love you too… I love you so… so much... so much…” Minseok uttered, almost like a whisper. “I love you so much Luhan by… I love you...“

_Their love was nothing but pure yet somehow along the way, they’ve stumbled into thorns that they disregarded and now they’re paying the price for it. The small wounds that they received became a path for new thorns to bury itself deeper and deeper as new ones came and thrusted themselves into the same wound until they couldn’t possibly mend it._

_The dangerous silence became doubtful sorrow that they kept inside and soon it was too hard to reverse. The simple talks became debate-filled shouts, the arguments became inconsolable fights, and the words… the words became swords that hurt worse than the thorns that got stuck inside their hearts._

_It tore them apart and continuously sliced the foundations of their relationship. Breaking the mountain of words that used to hold them together, the proof of their love._

Despite the bustling crowd in the airport, the felt like they were the only ones alive in the whole place. Their eyes glued to each other yet their hearts were throbbing with pain.

Minseok looked at Luhan with tears still brimming from his eyes. The taller gave him a smile despite reflecting the tears from his lover’s eyes. “I’ll… Wait for me. Please… please wait for me.”

Luhan pulled the strap of his bag pack closer to his body before letting go of his luggage and opening his arm to invite his lover in.

_The older simply nodded before stepping closer to Luhan and wrapping his arms around his lover’s torso. Luhan sighed before planting a kiss on his forehead. “Wait for me...”_

_They both knew how much they were broken, yet they never wanted to give up. Their hearts were shattered to pieces but they always picked it up and built it together. No matter how hard difficult it was, it was never really enough to piece it all back together completely._

_The constant problems that arose became too much and the only thing that they knew would work was to head out different directions in life._

_Distance._

_And if distance was the only one that could save what they have, then they’ll gladly embrace distance to let their hearts rest and build themselves back. And if one day, they’re finally complete again. They’ll accept each other with open arms._

_The scars will be their battle stripes, reminding them of what their past battles were. But it was better to come back with scars than to pick apart the scabs and let their wounds bleed each and every passing day._

_Their goodbye may last a while but their hello will soon flourish back and show them a new beginning where their love will bloom instead of the pain that they’ve long before nourished._

  
  
  



	2. The Time that passed and the Distance in between

Minseok looked out the window as he sipped his first cup of coffee in the morning. The sky finally turning into the puffy blue that welcomed the beautiful orange sun that brought forth light. The noise starting to pick up and pulling him into the memory of Luhan’s rambunctious melodies in the morning as pots and pans brought clinks and clangs that resounded in their apartment.

Luhan’s joyous laughter filling his ears and bringing a sense of comfort that made him feel safe.

His hand encircled itself around the mug as he bit his lips, turning around to close his eyes. Letting the tears fall down his cheeks, he bit gritted his teeth as he remembered Luhan’s warmth engulfing him into a tight embrace.

_“I love you babe…” Luhan’s low voice greeting him, kissing his nape as they watched the sunrise from the horizon. “It’s always so beautiful to watch.”_

_“It is.” Minseok answered as his lips quirked into a smile. But he didn’t even realize that Luhan never really meant the sunrise because his lover never did look at it. Luhan’s eyes were always glued to him just as it always has._

Minseok released a deep breath, hoping that it was enough to pull him out of the miserable feeling of longing for the man he wished to embrace. He turned around to show his back to the world. Leaning his back to the window panel, he slowly slid down to the ground, pulling his legs near his chest and abandoning the mug of coffee on the floor beside him.

Arms pulling his legs close to his chest as tears continuously fell from his eyes. His heart slowly clenching inside his chest as he worried, he wished Luhan was there.

If only Luhan was there.

Just as he succumbed to the pain, he heard a knock on the front door. He wasn’t sure why but he scrambled to stand up, even tipping the mug over and spilling the coffee on the floor. He ran towards the door with a rush that he’s never felt before.

“You--” _‘came back’_ the word hung in his lips when he saw Yixing standing at the doorway. The younger immediately looked guilty when he realized that Minseok must’ve rushed to open the door.

“I-I’m sorry… I… I just wanted to check up on you and see how you’re doing.” Yixing uttered, eyes locked on the older as he looked away.

Minseok immediately wiped his cheeks before stepping aside and allowing the younger to enter.

There was a certain part of him that didn’t want to entertain anyone inside his home, the only remnant where Luhan’s presence was strongest. It felt as if the place would lose Luhan’s essence if others came in and destroyed his sanctuary.

“Minseok-hyung…” Yixing called out, not even taking a step inside but just pulling Minseok into his arms. “It’ll be okay… Just trust in him. He’ll be back.”

Minseok couldn’t even utter a word so he nodded. He nodded as the tears fell back and his hand gripped on the younger’s jacket. “I miss him… I miss him so much.”

No words came from Yixing but instead, he nodded as he tightened the hug. Minseok never knew how much he needed that hug. How much he needed someone to be there and check on him. He never knew how much he needed help until it arrived.

He never willingly reached out because he didn’t need it. Not until someone reached out a hand to pull him out of the sea of misery he was unknowingly drowning himself into.

The pull was all he needed to see what he needed to do. It was also the push he needed to start taking steps to take back his life. To learn who he was. And to love himself once again.

Though the nights stayed the most painful of the times he had to be alone.

_“Goodnight babe… I love you.” Luhan whispered, pulling him closer even though the older knew that his lover hated physical contact._

_Minseok would often hum in content as Luhan kisses him goodnight._

With the continuous nightmares that he couldn’t pull himself away from.

_“Babe? Babe!” Minseok’s eyes fluttered open as he gasped for breath. Eyes trembling as he looked around until it landed on Luhan who was looking at him with worry. “Babe… It’s okay… I’m here… I’m here.”_

And yet there always that whisper of assurance and Luhan’s voice stuck in his mind that he was always thankful for.

_“Thank God he blessed me with you… I can’t imagine a life without you Minseokie… I’m so blessed to have you. I love you babe…”_

Funny how distance made him remember how evident Luhan’s love for him was. Thinking back on everything, it was mostly the good times that he remembered. The times when he smiled, he just started forgetting about them when his self-doubt started eating at him. His questions poked him in the heart and when he thought he was the only one hurting, the doubt became all about their relationship. About Luhan’s love. It started questioning more about the whys and the whats instead of appreciating the memories of the when and the how.

He could finally remember that beyond the pain, there was happiness. He smiled, he laughed, he loved. Luhan opened his heart and he’s done nothing but love him.

But he let his own insecurities open a path that tortured him into thinking of the worst. Words began to turn into daggers that stabbed them repeatedly and no amount of reassurance was enough to patch them. No amount of physical touch could mend them.

And that’s when it all started falling apart.

His own doubts were too much, it was consuming them and then it happened.

When Luhan said he wanted to give Minseok the space he wanted, the older was devastated. His doubt screamed in a pathetic cheer telling Minseok that it was right. It was DAMN right.

But when Luhan told him that what was happening between them won’t be fixed by being together, he felt stupid for fighting his doubt. He slowly fell into its hands. Wrapping himself with the pain and prepared to push Luhan away.

But Luhan didn’t hesitate to tell him that it was tearing them apart. He loves Minseok but for the older to see that, he needed to love himself too and he won’t be able to do it with Luhan around. Because the wounds were fresh and every argument created new wounds that deepened what was already there. 

So, he took a chance and accepted what Luhan said. But with the hands of time moving through his life, he felt like it was all for nothing for he still couldn’t see why Luhan had to leave.

He thought the only hand he needed was the hand of time to go faster and when much of it has passed then Luhan would come back and wrap the older back in his arms. Tell him his name and whisper how much he loves him.

But when a different hand reached out to him, he finally realized that Luhan was right. The distance that he hated so much became a catalyst for him to finally build what he’s lost.

Self-love.

He needed to love himself before he could even love another. And this became apparent as he remembered the good times more than the bad.

Minseok looked out the window as he sipped his last cup of coffee in the evening. The sky was painted with a dark blue hue with twinkling stars and a beautiful bright moon. He watched as the lights flickered on in the buildings around him, the cars moving slowly below and he felt at peace.

He closed his eyes before taking a deep breath, remembering when Luhan would slowly wrap his arms around him protectively before lips landed on his nape and a whisper fills his ears.

“Thank you for waiting, babe… I told you… I’ll come back.”

And for the first time, Minseok felt tears of joy fill his eyes as he heard those words from the man he’s been waiting for. He leaned back and with a smile on his lips he uttered, “God I missed you.”

“I missed you too babe.” Minseok sighed into the hug as he turned to meet Luhan’s lips with his own.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sparing your time to read this short ficlet. I hope that you guys liked it. Comments and kudos will be highly appreciated. Let me know your thoughts. Til next time!


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